Who is Tekno's mysterious Folake? We investigate

 

Quick Riddle: She's a shot catcher, child of the world, and they say she likes cassava. What is her name?

Folake is the ultimate baby girl of Nigerian pop culture. Someone is either trying to give her biscuit money or giving her big big cassava. She has been doing it since the days when Wizkid was really a kid and is grinding even now.

This begs the question, who is Folake?

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This is what we know.

We first knew about Folake when Wizkid showed up at a wedding to perform, uninvited.

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In the immortal words of Wizkid: Folake, pakurumo, ko jo dada. (go down low and move that body)

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That day, Folake found her calling in that hall in Ibadan, surrounded by Aso-ebi and hot Amala. 

She has international exposure

How do we know this? She was in Dotstar's 'Wanbi' where he featured Olamide just two years ago. This is where we started to understand her small small.

Dotstar, that UK Yoruba boy who sang All the girls in the club wants to hold me for ransom, knows Folake too.

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We know this because he called her in his "Wanbi" song with a bunch of other girls.

The Nigerian Pop Culture Law categorically states that;

When one girl is called out in a song, it's love. When she's called out alongside many girls, it's a runs girl sturv.

This leads us to the next question; what was she doing in the Abroad?

Folake did Masters in the Abroad.

"You mean you're now a graduate?" We heard Falz say this in "regards to your mumsi".

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So you see, Folake is a young, ambitious go-getter. Not a good-for-nothing.

But what does she look like?

Dremo knows.

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(Press)

When DJ Spinall invited Dremo and Koker to come and tell their own Folake stories, they had stuff to say.

Koker says she's a high-class baby girl. I mean, she wears Givenchy. But it is Dremo who tells what she really looks like;

Her body na coke.

We're translating it to mean she's either like a coke bottle, or she has the potential to cause Jedi-jedi.

But can we truly understand her if we haven't asked Tekno?

If there's anyone truly obsessed about Folake, it would have to be Alhaji Tekno. So obsessed, she's legit driving him crazy.

 

We know he's willing to follow her to Church, we know she likes eating cassava. Big big cassava.

What's so special about Folake, anyway?

Remember when Caro's body used to be necessary?

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Not anymore.

Folake now sits on the Iron Throne of the Pop Culture baby girl, whipping her Brazilian hair back and forth, just because she can.

Can we be sure who exactly she is?

No, at least not yet.

Her mystery is her selling point. What we do know is that she has international exposure, and has a British accent, and likes big big cassava.

Goodbye to Ego and Caro, Folake ti takeover.

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Now, do you know anybody that fits this description? If found, please send her over to us. We have a few questions about what cassava really means.

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